The Secret of Socrates: The Dale Carnegie Method

Commentary: This is a continuing series of posts reviewing Dale Carnegie's book 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'. This program is attractive in professional relationships due to it's time tested advice for those moving up the ladder of success. I have been introduced to Dale Carnegie training not once but twice. I attended Naval Aviation Officer Candidate School or AOCS during 1988 through which Dale Carnegie principles were first introduced to me, at least in part. Years later during 1999, I attended the Dale Carnegie school and coursework introducing me again to the Dale Carnegie method and principles.  I will be detailing only one principle a week in a shorter post in order for you to digest the information. This series may be reviewed at All the Principles in One Post. 

This post is receiving a lot of attention with over 25,000 reads. If you have any comments please feel free to email me directly at james.bogden@gmail.com. I would enjoy hearing your thoughts. 

The Secret of Socrates

Socrates was one of the greatest philosophers in humankind. He changed the course of human thought. He never told people they were wrong. Instead, he presented every question to be answered with a yes response, winning one admission after another. After many affirmations, people found themselves supporting or embracing a conclusion they would have bitterly objected to just minutes earlier.

Socrates' secret is simple, begin all conversations on things which you agree. Do not begin by discussing differences.  Emphasize common purposes and keep emphasizing these things.  Keep your opponent saying yes and, if possible, never permit him to say no. No is difficult to overcome. It is of great importance to get people moving in the affirmation direction soonest.

This is a very simple technique but often overlooked and neglected as if some people get a rush off of self-importance by antagonizing others at the outset. Why antagonize others? Carnegie concludes by citing an ancient Chinese proverb, "He who treads softly goes far."

Principle 14:  Get the other person to say "Yes, Yes", immediately

Comment: This concept of getting people to agree early and incrementally is a method also used in argumentation and discussed in my series on Argumentation.  This is particularly used when structuring a prejudicial argument which is often used in legal argumentation. Arguments are designed to move people in a specific direction but the conclusion is often unclear because the questions are asked in a disjunctive manner. After the requisite agreements have been met they are assembled in a logical manner with a conclusive delivery showing agreement with something that would not have been accepted earlier in its whole.

References:

Carnegie, D. (1981). How to win friends and influence people. New York: Pocket Books.