Commentary: This post completes the Dale Carnegie review. This was a continuing series of posts reviewing Dale Carnegie's book 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'. This program is attractive in professional relationships due to it's time tested advice for those moving up the ladder of success. I was introduced to Dale Carnegie training not once but twice. I attended Naval Aviation Officer Candidate School or AOCS during 1988 through which Dale Carnegie principles were first introduced to me, at least in part. Years later during 1999, I attended the Dale Carnegie school and coursework introducing me again to the Dale Carnegie method and principles.
This post continues to be one of the more popular posts and has recieved over 1100 reads. I would also like to point your attention to the Job Search Featured Posts and Book Reviews. There you may find expanded information as it applies to the job search.
Secrets of Success in the Digital Age Part 1
On a last point, I would like to direct readers to another posting, Tattoo on Your Soul, in which General Krulak discusses integrity, accountability, and responsibility. He remarks that it is all about people and if do not buy into that then you are not be a leader.
This concludes the review of the Dale Carnegie foundational principles. I encourage you take these principles to heart and practice them in all your dealings.
References:
Carnegie, D. (1981). How to win friends and influence people. New York: Pocket Books.
This post continues to be one of the more popular posts and has recieved over 1100 reads. I would also like to point your attention to the Job Search Featured Posts and Book Reviews. There you may find expanded information as it applies to the job search.
All The Principles In One Brief
New Posts regarding the Digital Age:
Secrets of Success in the Digital Age Part 1
The following list of 30 principles were covered in 25 posts.
Begin at home changing one's self before criticizing or complaining about or to others. Carnegie sums up his thoughts stating to seek sympathy, understanding, and kindness. He suggested to forgive all.
Forget flattery which is heartless adoration. Instead, give honest, sincere appreciation that increases one's sense of importance and gives levity to their efforts.
The world is loaded with self-serving people. So rare is the unselfish who attempt to serve others that they have an enormous advantage, little competition. People who are capable of seeing another's perspective and see the inner workings of another's mind never have to worry about the future. Carnegie encourages that you strive to get from his book the increased tendency to think in terms of the other person's point of view and. See things from another angle.
You can make more friends in two months by being interested in other people than trying to get other people interested in you.
Use people's name when addressing them and in business.
A terrific conversationalist never talks. They just smile and inspire others to talk.
The royal road to a person's heart is to talk about things he or she treasures most. This is a valuable technique in business.
The Law: Always make the other person feel important. Act selflessly
Having temperance and consideration builds positive relationships. A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still.
This approach will stop all arguments and inspire dialogue. Be diplomatic as it will help you gain your point. Don't stir them up.
It not only clears the air of guilt and defensiveness but helps solve the problems caused by the error.
A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.
It is of great importance to get people moving in the affirmation direction soonest.
Mention your achievements only when asked. Let other boast and talk.
Letting people feel that an idea is theirs not only works in business and politics, but also in family life.
The single major point Dale Carnegie insist on making in his body of works is to try to see things from another's point of view.
Give sympathy to people and they will love you. If you want to win people to your way of thinking, put into practice sympathy.
People always look to the nobler example, cause, or appeal. Be forthright in your dealings and aspire to the higher cause, purpose, and principles.
Be exciting, emphasize, fluctuate your voice, be animated, be interesting, and draw attention to you and your ideas.
Appeal to people of spirit by stimulating their desire to excel. Create competition.
Its always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have heard some praise of our good points.
Calling attention to one's mistakes indirectly works wonders with sensitive people who may resent any direct criticism bitterly.
Admitting mistakes, even when uncorrected, can aide in convincing another to adjust their behavior.
People accept orders more easily if they are part of the decision cycle that caused the order.
Even if we are 100% right and the other person is 100% wrong, we destroy ego, dignity, and pride by causing someone to lose face.
Abilities whither away under criticism and blossom under encouragement.
Excel in that difficult leadership role of influencing the behavior or attitudes of others
Without hope the drive to become something greater or achieve a goal is lost.
When people feel apart of the process and are included in counsel, they are more apt to do what you need them to do.
Commentary: I am going to offer some critical points in the following prose. This is not to detract from any of Carnegie's positive, time tested, and successful principles.
Dale Carnegie makes comments all throughout his body-of-works about "changing" other people offering his principles, examples, and wisdom to this end. I have intentionally left out of the review references to "changing" other people. I replaced many of these thoughts with influencing people if I did not refer to those comments at all. I based this action on an old idiom that you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink. The only person who can change a person is the person him or her self. No one controls anyone's buttons. Only the button holder is responsible for control of the buttons. If the button is pushed and someone is launched into orbit, they are wholly and solely accountable for their actions.
That said, Carnegie remarked that the most important take away from his body-of-works is to see things from another persons point of view. This requires you to listen, be silent, and think through their views. The other important take away is to be sincere and heart felt. If there is a change, the change is in you and no one else. Although you may observe people's responses towards your change.
On another point, over the course of my professional life I have observed just as many people embrace Dale Carnegie as those who rejected it. Those who rejected Dale Carnegie almost unanimously did so because of the phoniness that salesmen from the Carnegie Institute brought to the candidate meeting. I know this to be true in my meeting. The Carnegie salesmen with all his flamboyance and excessive exuberance, howled how Dale Carnegie changed his life and he now deals with people differently. His delivery impressed me as being phony. Aside from my experience with that salesmen, those who embrace Dale Carnegie tended to see past the phoniness. I did. One of the challenges that people have when implementing these principles is sometimes excessive zeal and enthusiasm which can and will lead to a sense of phoniness or less than genuine presence. The goal is to be sincere and honest. Therefore, be relaxed and be yourself with some adjustments and awareness of your presence such as smiling, nodding in confirmation, eye contact, etc... When dramatizing do not be a Shakespearian thespian. Just be an excited you, who is animated and lively. While learning you may over-dramatize in order to find your comfort zone.
On a last point, I would like to direct readers to another posting, Tattoo on Your Soul, in which General Krulak discusses integrity, accountability, and responsibility. He remarks that it is all about people and if do not buy into that then you are not be a leader.
This concludes the review of the Dale Carnegie foundational principles. I encourage you take these principles to heart and practice them in all your dealings.
References:
Carnegie, D. (1981). How to win friends and influence people. New York: Pocket Books.
Thank you for posting this review, I am a professor of undergraduate business students whom will be asked to also review your site and others like it.
ReplyDelete~M