Life's A Struggle, But You Can Win

I think everyone can relate to this essay about life's challenges. Most older folks agree that success is much more difficult today than 20 or 30 years ago. The workplace has become a drogue of political correctness, gossip, and crowd think driving people towards monochromatic thoughts, beliefs, and conduct. The ole axiom 'There no friends in a crowd' certainly holds true for the workplace as trust among coworkers plummets and people's expectation of success is often misplaced. 

This essay speaks to non-conformity and positions rebellion in a positive light. After all, the American Forefathers were rebels.  The essay's author, Erin Brockovich, queries, "Who is normal?" and applies the relativistic post-modernist dogmatic question, "Whose normal?" She goes on to discuss making your own success and finding confidence in yourself and abilities.  I think this is a lesson we all can take away from Brockovich's essay. 

Life's A Struggle, But You Can Win
by
Erin Brockovich and M. Eliot

Forget what others may say or think about you. I see my future as bright, even with everything that has happened to me, both good and bad, because I have proven all the "experts" wrong.  When I was a child suffering from undiagnosed dyslexia, everyone told me I'd be lucky if I graduated from12th grade. I recently came across a copy of the Lawrence Journal-World, my hometown newspaper, where one of the reporters interviewed several of my teachers and childhood friends and quoted them as saying that they never would have expected this kind of success from me. I thought to myself, "You see, Erin, this goes right to the heart of what you believe." 

The simple truth is, every person is unique, and success doesn't always mean uniformity, or conformity. Everyone's learning curve is different. The common factor among those who succeed is consistency, or the ability to utilize stick-to-itiveness. What is equally common is the fear factor among those who fail, who are afraid to see themselves for who and what they really are and accept it. For some who might be a little different, as I was, or a little rebellious, as I also was, it's even more difficult to go against the mainstream tide. Most won't or can't, and therefore they fail to develop their individuality, their talent, to celebrate what is unique about them. I call this the fear of individualism that is so pervasive in our society.

I was feeling a little sick the other day and stayed home, and while relaxing, I turned on a talk radio program. I can't believe what people are saying these days, how threatened they are by anyone who acts differently from others. "Why did he do this?" or "Why did she do that?" and no one is offering any solutions, which is not surprising to me.  If we seek advice on why we shouldn't express ourselves as individuals, what can anybody possibly say to bring us out?  This need to conform is killing the most creative minds. The solution?  Stop complaining or feeling sorry for yourself about what you don't have, and instead, ask yourself what you truly want!

Rebellion is not a bad word. It's a misunderstood word,  especially when it comes to young people. James Dean was a rebel. Amelia Earhart was a rebel. And so, by the way, was Thomas Edison. Ed Masry and my dad are two of the strongest rebels I've ever met. As far as I am concerned, rebel is probably one of the nicer things I've been called in the last ten years!

Too often we confuse the concepts of success and failure with normal and abnormal. Who among us is normal, anyway? According to whom? And who cares what they think anyway?

Is the janitor who lives down the street and who makes little money a failure because he doesn't make more money than his neighbor does? Some people have a narrower comfort zone than others. So what? As long as the janitor realizes it is less important to be the best janitor in the world than it is to be the best janitor he can be, he's not in any way what I would call a failure. And that's the whole point. As far as I was concerned, as long as I was being, or trying my hardest to be, the best Erin I could be, I could never be a failure, no matter what anybody else thought. 

The reality of life is that you deal with your circumstances as they come to you. You do the best you can, you try to stay in a positive mindset, and, as another woman I admire greatly who has also faced life alone once said, you hang in there because "Tomorrow's another day." When things get difficult, you don't turn tail and run. If you do, you can't like yourself very much, and that to me is the only real failure.

I remember a long time ago when I was working for a company selling a shampoo line named Lanza. It's the type of job in which a lot of rejection is a normal part of the day. One day a senior rep, who was evaluating me, watched me loose a sale. Afterwards, she took my pitch apart, almost word by word and said to me, "You know what, Erin, I am impressed by your ability to take criticism so well." "I don't see it as as criticism," I said, "just another way to look at myself."

And that's really exactly how I felt. Rather than thinking. "Ok, I just lost that sale, I must be a failure, I quit," instead  I'd stop and ask myself if maybe I did something to offend somebody. Why didn't I get that sale?  I'd want to know, so I'd ask the person who turned down the shampoo line to please help me help myself by telling me why. You'd be amazed how many people will take the time to explain the reasons for doing what they do and how often their actions have very little to do with you. 

That's why, if you've out of touch with yourself, you're never going to succeed, because all the negatives that you experience everyday you will carry on your own shoulders, as "your faults." Instead of doing that, you need to think things through. You must ask yourself, "What is it I am trying to achieve? Why do I want to achieve it? How can I go about it?"

I have never been afraid to be different, to let someone else say I'm a failure. That just does not matter to me. I cannot do anything I don't believe in, that goes against my code of ethics. Therefore, anything in my life I have done I've chosen to do. Oh sure there are times I have been frustrated, but I never let that stop me. I was frustrated not being able to finish school. Even though I could not learn the way other people did, I knew in my heart I had the ability to overcome my difficulties. In fact, when I tried again and stuck with it, eventually I was able to graduate from high school and go on to college, to get my associate's degree.

Do what you like and You'll Succeed.

What is the difference between talent and ability? Motivation. Better to try to be the best you can be than the best there is. Passion is the key to solving this equation. Skill without talent is never going to win out over ability infused with passion. No matter what anyone else may say, think, or do, let your passion guide you in life. When it comes to career and achievement, stick with what you like, and you will be amazed at how good you are at it. When I first began dealing with people as a salesperson, I discovered I had an ability to make them listen, and they often bought what I was selling. It was out of that first success that I realized I had an ability to communicate with people. ,  and whether I did well because I liked it or liked it because I did well, the bottom line was I liked it and I did well. This is the combination you are looking for in order to succeed in what-ever field of endeavor you choose to pursue. 

Be Realistic About Your Situation and Yourself.

Everyone can't be the leader of a team. We are all created differently, and while some of us have talents that are more obvious than others, we all have a level of attainment that we can reach. Remember, it is not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of fight in the dog.

Ego is Our Greatest Stumbling Block.

When we think we can get away with something, it is because we think we are smarter or better than everyone else. We may be; we may not be. These are not deciding factors in any struggle. The willingness to try your best and fail will make your commitment that much stronger and your success that much more accessible.

Reference:

Brockovich, E. and Elliot, M. (2004). Masters of Success: Life's a struggle, but you can win. Eliot house Productions: Canada. pp. 19-22.