The Art of the Comeback: Comebacks At Work

Commentary:  The work place has become a challenging place today. People are on edge, tempers flare, and in some cases the competitiveness has taken a hostile direction.  Simply good communication skills is not enough.  Professionals must become skilled at handling difficult people and in many cases corporate psychopaths. There are over thirty-five (35) corporate psychopath types in the workplace. Some of the most challenging ones to handle include Mayberry Machiavellians, Anger Freaks, and Workplace Bullies. Often they are a wolf in sheep's clothing and utilize subversive tactics appearing as sane, ordinary people. Nonetheless, in common sensibilities they are insane.  Communications with corporate psychopaths cannot be spontaneous and must be solely formal, prepared, focused and deliberate. In many instances, one must identify behavior patterns, anticipate situations, and have responses in their hip pocket. 

This series of postings will discuss using communication methods to gain control of circumstances and reduce your chances of becoming a target. We will cover ten (10) chapters in the book "Comebacks at Work" over the next several weeks. I'll attempt to couple these when appropriate with other authors works such as Dale Carnegie. 

01: The Art of the Comeback

Nearly everyone has been in a situation where emotions ran high, they were put on the spot, cornered, or publicly embarrassed in a conversation. What makes this circumstance more frustrating is when the event was deliberate or contrived by the opposing individual.  You felt inadequate, angry, and that your response was not good enough. After stewing over the event repeatedly hashing it out in your mind, you have an epiphany that you should have said something specific. You wonder why you did not think of that earlier.

No one is naturally born as a comeback artist. The skill is an acquired talent often through trial and error.  Even the best of the best fall short. Through the learning process you become a more astute person to the circumstances and are able to react in stressful situations more responsibly.

The author, Dr Kathleen Reardon, shares her experiences and lessons in order for the reader to gain greater insight into the art of the comeback. She offers methods for testing oneself, conducting self-assessments, and evaluating situations. As you train, you will master confrontation and be in charge of how people treat you.

02: Why Communications Matter

Communication begins with the brain which science has indicated possesses neuroplasticity. This means the brain is exceptionally pliable and adaptable to learning situations. Most people do not push their brain beyond the comfort zone. Thus, those brains become somewhat lazy affecting how many of us communicate resulting in a negative outcome. We engage in dysfunctional patterns and is why we do not have comebacks in many situations. To the extent you have not been learning how to handle comeback circumstances, your career and job have suffered as a result.

Communication matters as simply put. Knowing that the are many ways to respond is a big step towards communicating correctly. As you identify obstacles, expose the opposition, and employ the methods to be discussed people will think twice about making you a target.

Commentary: President Ronald Reagan, the Great Communicator,  had learned how to master the art of humor to alleviate stressful and tense situations. Once while being heckled on the campaign trail in San Diego on November 3, 1980, Reagan told a heckler, 'Ahhh Shut Up!' which won him enormous respect and quieted the heckler. In another situation, Reagan used humor to alleviate tensions about his age remarking he was not going to exploit his opponents youth and inexperience for political gain. Once again winning enormous respect. Humor is one instrument to be considered. 

Later in the book we will discuss the use of humor to disarm, expose, or to diminish the impact of comments designed to cause injury to you in various ways. Even though your opponent may be attacking you personally, mind you that throughout this book you will not be attacking your opponent but the comment or the conduct instead.  In most circumstances, you will use the Dale Carnegie principle of allowing the other person to save face.  However, there are circumstances in which you may allow the opponent to look stupid. It is all in the coming chapters. 

Reference:

Reardon, K.K., (2010). Comebacks at work: using conversation to master confrontation. (1 ED.). Harper Collins publishers, New York.