Commentary: This is a continuing series of posts reviewing Dale Carnegie's book 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'. This program is attractive in professional relationships due to it's time tested advice for those moving up the ladder of success. I have been introduced to Dale Carnegie training not once but twice. I attended Naval Aviation Officer Candidate School or AOCS during 1988 through which Dale Carnegie principles were first introduced to me, at least in part. Years later during 1999, I attended the Dale Carnegie school and coursework introducing me again to the Dale Carnegie method and principles. I will be detailing only one principle a week in a shorter post in order to for you to digest the information. This series may be reviewed at All the Principles in One Post.
The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints
The safety valve in handling not only complaints but people is to allow others to talk themselves out! They know more about their situation than you do. So ask questions and let them tell you a thing or two. If you disagree, do not interrupt as it is dangerous. They will not listen to you, at all, since they still have their own ideas crying out for expression. Encourage them to express their ideas fully.
Does this policy pay off in business? You bet! Carnegie gives an example in which he lost his voice and could not speak during an important meeting. The client's CEO spoke for him, taking his position, and Carnegie just gave smiles and nods. In the end, Carnegie's silence and listening were rewarded after a lively discussion as the company awarded the contract to him. What Carnegie discovered while listening was that he had the incorrect proposition / proposal and would have lost the contract. However, because he was silent while the CEO and staff debated the fine points they talked themselves into the contract.
Successful people like to reminisce about their past struggles that made him into the success they are today. Even our friends would rather talk about their achievements rather than listen to others boast. There is an adage by a French philosopher that if you want enemies, excel your friends; if you want friends, let your friends excel you. This is true because when friends excel you they feel important. But when we excel them they feel inferior and envious, at least to some extent.
Mention your achievements only when asked. Let other boast and talk.
Principle 15: Let the Other Person Do A Great Deal of Talking
Commentary: When I lived in San Diego, CA I decided to find out what made local millionaires the success they were. I wrote letters to 10 local millionaires requesting an audience. I wanted to learn how they did it. Nine of the ten responded favorably and I met with them for about an hour each. They sat back in their high back leather chairs, waving their hands, and orating their philosophies and struggles. Huge grins stretched across their faces. I sat there listened and took notes. In the end after all their talking, several offered to get me started. They would give me business or they would give me other opportunities. They wanted me to be a success like them. In one case he wanted to discuss having me as his protege. The point is that letting people talk opens opportunity and you gain tremendous insights.
Customer complaints is a common problem of any form of business and should be handled in a professional manner. If not, it can be a cause of a much more problem.
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Thanks! You are correct! Handling complaints is a delicate situation. I am having problems with a company that has a tagline "The Likeable Company" but nothing in their conduct is likeable. It has now cost them business. This could have been avoided if they simply behaved in a more professional manner. One of the things I learned from the down economy is that companies cutting corners hired inexperienced people in these call centers and customer service. This has cost them business when sales are more difficult to come by.
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